Keeping it Real

The difference between being interested and being committed is HUGE! For the last 10 years I have been interested in losing weight. I tried things here and there. I’ve dreamed of being thinner, healthier, and more energetic. What have I been lacking? Commitment! What is commitment? I ask people this question every day on my job as an admissions advisor! So for the last 7 years I have been in this field talking to people about being committed to education, I was lacking commitment in my life where I needed it the most. Kinda of hypocritical right? Oh, I was committed to education. I made it through with flying colors, did well in my classes, graduated with honors for two of my degrees. Why? It’s because I was more than committed to my education. When I hit hard patches, did not see results, I pushed HARDER!

 Commitment: the state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.. It is also known as a pledge or an undertaking. Commitment may refer to a promise, oath, obligation, or guarantee.

 Are you committed? It’s kinda scary to tell other people you are COMMITED to something isn’t it? Then, we are held accountable to those words. Commitment is more than words though, it is action. How do you know if you are committed? Commitment is not always exciting, it is a choice, and it takes hard work. You choose to committed and follow through with a plan. I had a little commitment check yesterday. It’s aligned with the universe when you start a healthy eating plan people start wanting you to go out to eat with them, the offer you treats, chocolate is available at every turn, and you are left with a choice. Sweets are my weakness; I guess sugar is my drug of choice. So I know that moderation is vital. I am not saying anyone should deny themselves anything, but if you know YOU and you will also know your limits. Someone left a pack of zingers on my desk. No one ever leaves me treats like that so why now? Ok, so what to do with the zingers? Eat them? Oh no, that’s more empty calories than I care to consume. I guess I could have thrown them away, instead I gave them to a skinny person. HA

 One small victory leads to many… If you are on this journey with me, I know you can do it. I know that I can too! It’s a matter of being committed, in control, and making healthier choices. Let’s do it!

Weigh In

Weigh In Day: 365.2
Down from 370 two weeks ago.

That's about 5 pounds in two weeks!

It's a start in the right direction!

MyFitnessPal - Nutrition Facts For Foods

Who am I?-Transparent Confessions of a Fat Girl

 Who am I? That’s a good question!  Be warned this is a long post...

 I ask myself that at times! Well, let me introduce you to who I am right now, as far as I know. I am Cheryl,  nearly 30 years old, I have a good career, and love for creativity. I am known to not keep all my eggs in one basket. I have an entrepreneurial spirit! I can be a bit random, spontaneous, and  slightly impulsive. I love art of any form.  Aside from my full time career working in higher education, I am also a photographer and branding designer. (I told you love creativity!) I am always busy doing something. If I am not at work I am likely working on making some new props, designing a logo, taking pictures, playing with my cats, or spending time with family. I am a wife, a sister, and friend and I love making people laugh! Sometimes I bite off more than I can chew (pun intended), but I always find a way to make things work. I am involved with some great charitable foundations and like spending my time giving back to others. Sometimes I forget to give time to focus on taking care of me.

 I have a good life full of friends, silliness, laughter, ups, downs, struggles, and victories. Oh did I mention I weigh over 300 lbs? Well I do. I know the common opinion I’ve encountered over the years of being an overweight young women, is that I must be lazy, sit at home in front of the TV, and eat bon bons, wow so not true. What exactly are bon bons anyway?  Now don’t get me wrong, I am not using that in any way to justify my being overweight as ok, or not my fault. I know it’s my fault, I’ve made the decisions to do other things with my time rather than invest in my health. My bad choices, such as eating what’s quick and convenient, and not participating in regular exercise,  have obviously resulted in a massive problem- known as my waistline.  I would eat what I wanted when I wanted to, and how much I wanted. Mind you most of my childhood I was with my single father eating microwave pizza and spaghetti, don’t worry we washed it down with Diet Coke, because that cancels out the calories right? Trust me I now know how bad diet soda is for you.  Although I am not a generally lazy person, I do have an aversion to working out, which I am working on! Hey I am an honest fat person ok? lol  I’ve used my back/knee problems as an excuse. It hurts at my size, it’s not pretty, and forget it happening in public!  I’ve almost got the courage up to join a gym and get over myself. Until then I have my elliptical, treadmill, ab-chair, and Zumba. OH, and no more excuses!



 So as you may guess I have tried other things before. I’ve starved myself for days only to binge later, low carb dieted, low calorie dieted, taken pills, shakes, considered surgery, and many more. So you might be asking what is so different about this time. Why is this the decision that is going to change it all?   First off, I’m ready!  That sounds good to say. Before I tried things mainly as a temporary fix to drop some pounds, to only gain it back again. I had no intention of eating that way for the rest of my life.  I am tired of being overweight,   for lack of a better term, it “sucks”.  I am ready to make lifelong improvements to my health.  I really like being active in life, and my weight is slowing me down. I get tired easily, I am extremely self-conscious, I think everyone is thinking about how gross I must look, and I am outgrowing the world around me in the worst ways. I now have ask for a seat belt extender to fly on a plane, some chairs with arms cut into my hips when I sit down, and I can’t ride an amusement park ride. A wake up call moment for me, was when I was on a family vacation earlier this year and we went to hiking up this moderately inclined trail to see a beautiful waterfall at the end. I was trying to “fake it till I make it”, however that did not work this time. The cold mountain air felt like needles in my lungs, I started getting dizzy, and I had to stop luckily about the time I thought I would fall over we saw a bear and we all had to stop so then I could play it off like I was not having a problem.  I used that as an excuse to go back to the car.  I was upset about it, but did not say a word. Maybe my family noticed, maybe they didn’t, no one said anything about it. It they did it would have just made me mad anyway.  For me I was fed up, I wanted to do something, and I could not do it! Instead of doing something at that moment to make a change, I just got upset, oh and as a family we went to Cold Stone, great choice right? 

So many people have tried to give me advise, some good, some really bad. Let me tell you this, if you know someone who struggles with their weight criticizing them about it only makes it worse! You don’t know their situation and you should not judge, but when you see them making an effort simply encourage.  I won’t say who, but I have a particular person in my life who always tries to give me advise on my weight. This person has the WORST eating habits. They eat mostly processed foods with tons of sweets.  This persons advice does not help me, it just makes me angry.  No mater who it is, a person has to be ready to change. I’ve always been big, well since 4^th grade, I was chubby. Slowly over the years though childhood, adolescent, and into adulthood I’ve gotten bigger. Honestly it did not stop me from doing much until the last few years.  As a teen I did everything I wanted to, I biked, swam, dated, traveled, camped, had fun, laughed a lot, and hid my emotional problems that were associated with being overweight.  I really just ignored it, you know they say ignorance is bliss! Ahem- that is really not true.  I’ll be honest with you the last 50 pounds snuck up on me. You may think that sounds stupid, but when you are already overweight, not monitoring it, and rarely go to the Dr. because you hate getting on a scale, it’s really quite easy to do.  My bathroom scale says Err when I step on it. There is a 300 lb. limit. So I have even outgrown my scale- OUCH.
 

Just recently I weighed at the doctors and  I wanted to cry, but there is no time for crying now. Just time for action. Time for discovering ways to improve my health. Time to take the stairs, walk more, exercise, eat healthy foods, limit portions, and enjoy life.  It is time to be accountable for what I put in my body. I will be logging with I eat, following a healthy calorie limit, and enjoying food for what it is, not using it as a way to cope. This is all very transparent and more than I have shared with anyone about my weight. So why am I sharing it? It’s an accountability to myself!  I’ll be taking this journey at day at a time, setting goals, reaching goals, and feeling better. I am sharing this because I really hope it helps someone else to start their journey.  I will be posting more specifics, but first I wanted you to know where I am coming from. Monday I will be weighing in (on my new scale), and posting my measurements. Umm… wow I don’t know how I feel about that. But I will be doing it.  I want to track my progress from this point forward. So you may be wondering why I named this blog, Extra Fluffy. It was actually a joke between a friend and I as teens. We were not fat, we were just extra fluffy. Well it’s time to lose the fluff!

 

Reasons I Want to Lose

In order to stay motivated on this journey I thought of all the reasons I want to lose weight and cut the fluff. This list may change over time; however it will hold me accountable to the fact that I have many reasons why I want to drop the pounds. There is really no excuse that trumps anything on my list.

Lose weight to feel healthier.

Lose weight so I can feel a sense of pride in myself.

Lose weight so I will not become a diabetic - Lord, I do hate needles - please help me.

Lose weight so all my old clothes will fit - again!

To say good-bye to all those fat clothes.

Lose weight to be stronger and more energetic.

Lose weight so I will continue to be the only woman my husband looks at.

Lose weight to cut down on the chiropractic adjusts for my aching back.

Lose weight so I can become a good role model for those who want to lose weight.

Lose weight so the bubbles in my bath will cover all of me.

Lose weight so I can lose my "shelf" (in the rear!)

Lose weight so I can hike with family w/o embarrassing myself.

Lose weight so I can sit in any chair - w/o checking it!

Lose weight so I will not have to have a seat belt extender on the airplane.

Lose weight so I will not turn beet red after I exercise or walk up a flight of stairs.

Lose weight so I will not have to say I am sorry when caught in a narrow isle,.

Lose weight so I will not be embarrassed by my size.

Lose weight so my back will quit hurting.

Lose weight so my knees will quit hurting.

Lose weight so I can run, jump so all the things I used to do before the weight.

Lose weight to turn heads for that second look instead of getting the "What were you thinking look".

Lose weight so I can have other choices than Plus sizes.

Lose weight so that I can order cute clothes from a catalog.

Lose weight so I can stand in front of a mirror and like what I see.

Lose weight so that I will never have to read the weight limits on any product I use.

Lose weight so I can go to the gym without people staring at me.

Lose weight so I won't dread family photos.

Lose weight so that I don't get those embarrassing indents where the chair armrests have dug into my thighs.

Lose weight so that I can wear heels again - with confidence and without the pain.

Lose weight so even a regular towel fits all the way around me.

Overall I want to lose weight for me, for my health, self-esteem, and overall confidence.